InsaneJournal

Current mood:	satisfied
Current music:	Crush Crush Crush - Paramore
Entry tags:	ff7, fic, transformers, writing

Can't end well.
I'm getting back into the writing groove again. Slowly. In fits and starts. Clearly my writerbrain runs on diesel.

Have a silly short thing, kind of an omake to Myths Jamie and Adam Never Busted.

****

Kari nudged the little Pokemon figure to the center of the table to join the bottle cap and seashell in a little cluster. "Okay," she announced, "so you all wake up in this dark room together."

"Man, getting right into it, aren't you?" Bumblebee complained. "We haven't even introduced our characters yet."

"Well? Now's a great time," Kari grinned, leaning her elbows on the table - which was itself sitting on an Autobot-sized table, to accomodate both humans and Transformers with a minimum of fuss. Spike sat across from her, scribbling out his last notes on his character sheet, and Beachcomber and Bumblebee completed the circle at the table scaled for them.

Beachcomber nodded and nudged his seashell with a fingertip. "I'm Thwackwyn," he announced, "the elfin fighter. I like, uh... hitting stuff."

"Thwackwyn?" Spike demanded with a laugh. "Never mind. Okay, I'm a halfling paladin, and my name is..." His eyes gravitated to the bottle cap that represented his character. "Fanta," he stated firmly.

"And you dinged my name," Beachcomber chortled.

"Oh, hush." Spike made a face at him. "Bumblebee, who's your guy?"

"Well, he's a wizard, and..." Bumblebee trailed off, distracted. "Prime? Something wrong?"

The others turned; Optimus Prime straightened away from the doorframe, as if caught doing something wrong. "No, I was just curious," he admitted. "Please don't let me interrupt. Go on with your game."

Something about how the masked Autobot stood (too much like a shy kid watching the other kids play) made Kari offer impulsively, "Do you want to play, Optimus? It's easy to pick up, we'll teach you."

"We could use a cleric," Spike added with a friendly smile when Optimus hesitated. That seemed to be more than even the stoic leader could resist; Optimus nodded acquiescence and found a chair that would hold his weight while Kari produced another character sheet.

"Except he can't be a cleric," the human woman announced, rattling a pair of six-sided dice thoughtfully in her hand.

"What? Why?" Bumblebee protested, scooting over in his chair to make room for his leader. "He'd make a perfect cleric!"

"That's the problem," Spike broke in, seeing the direction of Kari's thoughts. "Optimus Prime is as close to a real-life cleric as you're going to get. It kind of defeats the point of D and D if you pick something close to your real job."

"Right," Kari nodded, giving Spike a grin. "He needs to choose something he'd never be in real life."

Optimus glanced between them, head a-tilt. "Is it too late to be worried?" he asked, prompting a laugh from the others.

"Here, Prime," Bumblebee offered, nudging his datascreen over to him, "you can use my character. It's all set up and everything. I'll make a new character and be the cleric, okay?" Optimus took the screen, nodding his thanks, and Spike took on the task of explaining what all the numbers meant while Kari and Bumblebee rolled their dice for their new cleric.

And so it was that Optimus Prime played Dungeons and Dragons for the first time, as a dragonborn wizard named Strawberry. General opinion held that the experience was good for Optimus, though Ratchet made angry noises about a processor reformat when in the middle of a battle Optimus announced that he was casting Magic Missile. But that's another story.

****

I've also written a couple of other short things in various places. I'm mostly linking them here so I remember to throw them onto DW at some point.
FFVII AU with tentacles, birthday fic for chibirisuchan.
Megatron/Sam for porn_battle, also with tentacles and holy shit I just picked up on that theme. Ahahaha, I are the dumb. Also, this fic is decidedly non-con and Not At All Right, so.

Also, someone please please MST this. It's got it all: mpreg, gratuitous rape, OOC, Oh The Drama, terrible grammar and spelling errors and some srsly bad writing. The worst part is, I could really go for some crack like this if it was only written well. XD