|raisedbymoogles (raisedbymoogles) wrote,|
@ 2012-05-20 23:25:00
Disjointed and whiny.
So MovieBob (this guy) just did his review of Battleship, and he tore it a new asshole. I felt... gratified. Does that make me a horrible person?
Let's back up. Remember Real Steel? Based on Rock'em Sock'em Robots, starred Hugh Jackman, I think? (Too lazy to look it up.) I... kind of cringed when I saw the trailers to that.* It didn't look like a bad movie - far from it. It looked good. It looked like it had heart, and that just killed me. How in the world could Rock'em Sock'em Robots, a property with no story behind "punch the other guy until someone's head flies off", get a decent movie and Transformers, with its wide character pool, rich mythos, and devoted fanbase, got... Bayverse?
I could seriously leap headfirst off a bridge, you guys.
Okay, look, Bayverse had moments I liked. There were even a few I loved. Mr. Cullen did an amazing job, Mikaela tended toward Badass in movie 1, etc. etc. it could have been AWESOME. And God knows we're getting some fantastic fanfic out of it. *waves at (lj)merfilly and (lj)chibirisuchan among others* But... in the end... yeah. Y'all know how that ended up.
For a while I thought that maybe part of the reason Bayformers failed was BECAUSE of its long history (anyone taking bets on when the first grand-sparkling will be born?), rich and varied continuity to draw from (which, let's face it, is a giant mess, and every attempt to 'Unify Canon' will inevitably result in this), and devoted fan base (read 'vocally obnoxious fan base with an entitlement complex'). Nobody with the intelligence of a waffle would want to touch this property, so we wound up with "T&A&Explosions" Bay, I thought. ...But then Joss Whedon directed Avengers, a property with comparable history, continuity wackiness, and fanbase. And it was very nearly a religious experience. So much for that theory.
So that's why I was relieved to hear that the other big budget movie based on a board game wasn't that great. (Although the newspaper gave it a decent review. FFFFF.)
JOSS. YOU MUST GET YOUR HANDS ON THE RIGHTS TO TRANSFORMERS AND REBOOT THAT SHIT. POKE HASBRO WITH LOKI'S POKEY STICK OF OBEY-ME AND GET IT DONE. ONLY YOU CAN SAVE US.
*I also kind of cringed because creating robots to entertain them in gladitorial combat was what the Quintessons did, before The Revolution came. So yeah, that's kind of a squick for this TF-S3 fangirl.