Wow. I can safely say this has never happened to me before.
I, uh, got two jobs today. Well, a job offer and an informal freelance project.
The job is just part time, weekday mornings at the local grocery store, but it's paying enough that I can stop living off my savings and start contributing to rent. The freelance gig - basically 'Boots acted as my agent, so now I'm doing an animated informational video for her boss. XD
I'm fairly sure imposter syndrome is going to hit me hard as soon as I start work on it, but since I'm not doing it in front of her I can fake confidence in my emails to her and have my breakdowns in blessed privacy. And tentatively, maybe start to believe that my diploma-mill graphic design degree was not the waste of two years and thousands of dollars that I've been convinced it was since about six months after I graduated.
I DON'T HAVE TO JOB-HUNT ANYMORE. HOORAY. JOB HUNTING IS THE ACTUAL WORST.
(On an unrelated note, I wrote a thing. TW: two instances of a common gendered slur. Also probably going to get a certain 90s pop song stuck in your head.)