|raisedbymoogles (raisedbymoogles) wrote,|
@ 2008-05-03 00:41:00
|Current music:||An Audience With the Pope - Elbow|
Another step on my journey.
Something that came out of me in therapy the other day: "My biggest fear is the cubicle."
Ever since I was little, I've known I wasn't meant to live an ordinary life. My first dreams never included a husband, kids, a white picket fence and all that. My Barbies, regardless of how they were dressed when they came out of the box, were all explorers and independent women and regularly kicked Ken's ass. I read fantasy and science fiction and imagined myself in those worlds. My heroes were female astronauts and the Yellow Ranger.
None of that has really changed, of course, but it's hard to keep sight of my fire when school's trying to groom me into another ad monkey. Nowadays when I worry, it's "What if I don't get a good job right out of college? What if I'm not a Productive Member of Society?" And I forget that that's not really what I want.
I want to travel. I want to create things that make people's eye's shine or their hearts beat faster. I want to tell stories. I want to sit atop a bluff and snark with Coyote. I want to steal fire from the gods and give it to everyone I can before they catch me. I want to sit in a coffee shop somewhere where I don't speak the language and find a way to make everyone laugh. I want to break barriers. I want to run as fast as I can. I want to be free.
It's okay if I don't quite match up to the expectations of some ad executive in Philadelphia. My world is so much bigger than that.
As usual, xkcd kinda sums it up.