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Skipped Back 20

April 30th, 2014

My Star Wars VII Wishlist

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So, even my mom knows they announced the cast list for Star Wars Episode VII, so I figure you've all squeed/groaned over them (according to inclination) already. Me, I've never heard of any of the new guys, so I don't have any strong feelings. It did, however, get me thinking on what I'd like to see from the new movie in general. So, here I go, just in case anyone's listening. ;)

1. If there MUST be only one new female character (I know, I know, but Mako killed it all by herself in Pacific Rim, so you never know), make her the heart of the story. Don't give me yet another fantasy world that sits me down and tells me I only matter as eye candy. 'Cause I'm some slagging horrible eye candy. I'm the candy corn of eye candy.

2. Leia uses Force powers. And I mean does something amazing with them, not just makes something float or whatever. Doesn't have to be a battle-magic kind of thing, just - fulfill the promise Luke made when he told Leia "you'll learn to use it as I have."

3. Anakin's ghost still hanging around. Yeah, I know, I know, but imagine what a great perspective that would be for the good guys to have access to - like a Dark Side consultant. 'Cause you KNOW there's gonna be Sith Lords. Hell, imagine Anakin being a professor for the new crop of baby Jedi. :D

4. A sense of humor, dammit.

5. No bikinis. None. I do not want a whole new generation's worth of "but it's actually EMPOWERING!!!" No. We have had ONE harem outfit in this fandom, people, unless you're willing to stick one of the men in the slave garb this time I don't wanna hear it anymore.

6. Some decent worldbuilding. Sure, explosions are nice, but give me some nice chewy sociology in my sci-fi.

How 'bout y'all? Anything you're hoping to see? Any big NOPEs?

April 11th, 2014

Adventure Princess! Seriously my every fantasy since the age of eight.

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I kind of really want to write post-movie Tangled fic wherein Rapunzel is basically a cheerful friendly Batman.

Think about it: this girl can do everything. She's an artistic polymath, she can throw darts and swing a mean frying pan, she's comfortable with magic (raised by a witch, remember, even if she doesn't have the Magic Hair anymore) and could probably easily learn to do some of her own, she has contacts in the underworld and the resources of a princess. And she is largely self-taught! Which means she is HELLA SMART, you guys. There is no limit to what she can accomplish.

...Except perhaps for the emotional fallout from being raised by an emotional abuser, with the added punch of learning that she kidnapped you as a baby and was only using you for your hair. Which is interesting in a completely different direction, though I'm not sure I could do it justice. XD I mean, weepy damsel she is not, but there is no way she is not a little fucked in the head from all that.

...which, I suppose, lends itself to the Batman thing. XD

April 1st, 2014

Re: the *shudder* new TMNT movie.

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I'm almost fascinated by the whole thing, as one would be fascinated by a train coming into the station far too fast and already on fire. I mean, just so many poor decisions, one after the other, it's almost awe-inspiring. The Shredder being played by a white guy*, the mangled backstory, the (ohgod) faces. How can so much Wrong be packed into one project?

You know who I feel the most sorry for? Megan Fox. After her involvement with the Transformers franchise and the inglorious exit therefrom (and don't think that throwaway 'Yeah, she was a bitch' line in DotM didn't make me want to strangle Bay and Shia with each other's intestines), here she is in the middle of another geek property that's going horribly wrong. Which means she's about to get hit with a whole new generation of angry fanboys typing out their screeds accusing her of somehow ruining their childhood with one hand while jerking off to her picture with the other. The poor girl.

I sincerely hope that her next geek/scifi project is with a competent development team. And when we get a Power Rangers movie in a few years (you KNOW it's coming), she should definitely play Red.

*They're not even trying anymore, are they? They know everyone's expecting to see a Japanese guy in the role. They know they're going to get blowback for this. The only possible reason for this choice is 'we're racist, and we think you are too.' Fuck you too, guys.

March 9th, 2014

My issues cannot be quantified.

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My first time talking to a therapist in four-ish years went down a few days ago, and long story short, she couldn't figure out what's wrong with me. I told her why I suspected ADD, I told her my history with depression, and I guess some of the things I said pinged 'anxiety disorder' to her. So the purpose of the testing is to figure out what the root of it all is, which might wind up being one of several things or a combination thereof.

I'm actually kind of looking forward to it. I've never been tested before, my first therapist just said 'yep, sounds like depression, here's some pills' and I guess subsequent therapists just took their cue from that. I'm kind of curious about the whole process and what I'll find out about myself. Who knows, maybe I'll have some obscure and freakish brain chemical imbalance unknown to science. XD

(I have to admit I'm kind of married to the idea of ADD though. It really does seem to fit, looking back on my history, especially at school. There's a definite attraction to the idea that I could take a pill and become less useless. ...though I know it's not going to be that simple.)

January 20th, 2014

This is probably why I don't do well on job interviews.

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Work has hired a new head tech. She's competent, hardworking, pleasant, and has entirely unintentionally has hung a big flashing neon sign over one of my biggest character flaws: every time she asks me something about myself, even the smallest most inconsequential thing, I give an evasive or smartass answer and exit the conversation as quickly as humanly possible. Apparently I interact with the world as if I am a suspect in act two of an episode of Law & Order. -_-

They're not even really invasive questions. If anything, they're kind of... sanitized corporate getting-to-know-you! :D questions. (Which, admittedly, always makes my skin crawl a bit, which may be part of the problem.) I've been working there for quite a long time, so I'm not really worried that New Head Tech will change my bosses' opinion of me, but I dread the day she asks if I'm okay/something's wrong/do we need to have a Meeting.

I just... hate talking about myself. Part of me still expects to be made fun of if I reveal anything at all about my interests or hobbies. There are a lot of things I keep back even on the relative emotional safety of the internet. I don't want to talk about my future plans or career aspirations* to what amounts to an affable stranger with whom I am forced by circumstance to spend time. I just want to do my job and go home.

And I am still utterly, utterly baffled by the idea that she might just genuinely want to get to know me.

*This is partially because I am still very, very ashamed of my life and all of my choices. And at this point, 'I want to be a writer/artist!' sounds as laughable as 'I want to be a princess/dinosaur/Jedi/astronaut!'

January 12th, 2014

So I went to England again.

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In Which Moogle Experiences Her First Moor, Narrowly Escapes Death By Evil Dolls, And Has Far Too Much Fun With A Tiny Roddy Plushie

Image-heavy, sense-light. )

Conclusion: I had a blast, and will definitely be back. So will tinyRoddy. :DDDD

November 17th, 2013

I wrote a thing for some reason.

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Title: Student/Leader/Youngling/Teacher
Rating: Gen
Characters: Kup, Rodimus Prime
Summary: Rodimus has some ball bearings throwing Kup in the brig.
Words: 982

Yet another flawless transportation procedure!

November 14th, 2013

I'm okay, you're okay.

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Saw a doctor for the first time in - let's just say Far Too Long. XD I've been kind of vaguely aware that I'm a grownup and can/have to do things like that for myself now, but after discussing the ADD thing with my mom* she suggested I get a checkup as the first step in dealing with that. The nurse practicioner did, of course, mention my weight as a problem, but also said I was basically healthy.

No shots, but they did take a couple of tubes of blood. It's kinda weird being on the receiving end of that. XD

*I told my mom "I think I have ADD", and she went *nodnodNOD* while I was still bracing myself for an epic debate and having to argue her around to at least consider the possibility. So it was nice not to have to do that. XD

November 1st, 2013

So, I've been 29 for a little less than 24 hours now...

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...it doesn't upset me as much as turning 28 did. Maybe I'm accepting my mortality at last. ;P Or maybe my Not-Giving-A-Shit-Fu is getting stronger.

I have to say, though, I think pushing 30 would feel a lot better if I actually had my shit together. As it is pushing 30 just feels like pushing 16 with an added rent payment.*

*Actually, I've been taking a second look at the idea that I might be ADD/ADHD. It would explain a lot. But I have no idea where to go to get a diagnosis or treatment, or how I'd pay for it or when I'd have time to do it.

September 10th, 2013

Sometimes labels are useful, OR, shit that other people figure out around age 15.

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Cut for sexuality-related stuff, which may be TMI.

Coming out. Or something. )

August 24th, 2013

Moogle Rewatches TF:TM!

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That's the 1986 version, the original and still the best. ;) I livetweeted the whole thing; you can read the collected tweets right here. :D

I have so many feels about this movie, you guys. SO MANY. I may have to do a Why I Love Hot Rod post sometime. XD Also my appreciation for a very, very pretty Galvatron has been reestablished. >3

August 18th, 2013

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Grandma passed away Friday afternoon. It was very peaceful, there was no pain. But I still didn't get to really say goodbye to her, as she'd fallen into her final sleep the day before we arrived. I am upset about that, but she's at peace now, I guess.

August 12th, 2013

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So, most recent Thing in my life - my grandma (mom's mom) has cancer. They think she has about 3 months left. I'm heading up to say goodbye to her on Thursday - it was kind of short notice getting the time off, but I want to see her while she's still lucid. I didn't get that with Grampy.

Gonna try to keep it together this time.

August 9th, 2013

Everybody Loves Slinkies (gen, TFG1)

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Another ficblurt, this one deemed okay enough to go on AO3.

In which Magnus makes an odd discovery.

(Dear IJ, not dead, just distracted. More later, maybe.)

May 25th, 2013

Why don't little kids run the world again?

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My mother teaches second grade, and this is a story she told me today.

The class was about to do a lesson on Susan B. Anthony, and so my mom wanted to illustrate to them what the fight for women's suffrage was all about. So she held a vote, but informed the class, "I only want the girls to vote. I don't care about what the boys have to say." The class shuffled in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, then one of the girls declared, "But that's not fair!"

Two more girls spoke up before the boys found their voices - apparently her boys are a shy bunch this year. But before long the whole class was protesting. At that point Mom could ask, "but why isn't it fair?" and begin their discussion. The kids talked about how it felt to be excluded and not listened to, and again it was a girl who stepped up, saying that she wouldn't want anyone to do that to her, so nobody should do it to the boys either.

At that point Mom wrote a word on the blackboard. That word was "empathy." "This is a sixth-grade word," she told them, "but it's exactly what you're talking about. It means putting yourself in another person's position and understanding how they feel, even though you haven't had the same experiences."

I've been thinking a lot about intersectionality lately, and how all of us are a lot more divided by our differences than we should be in the fight for social justice. White feminists have failed women of color. Men and women don't trust each other. People of different religions are literally killing each other. People with mental or physical disabilities slip through Grand Canyon-sized cracks. Even the LGBT community is divided against itself. Sometimes I think we'll never stop battling each other long enough to make any progress.

But that classroom gets it. Empathy united the boys and the girls. Empathy empowered the "privileged class" to reject their privilege and prioritize people. There's still a lot to learn - for everyone - but it all starts with empathy.
It gave me hope, anyway. Maybe it will give you hope too.

April 23rd, 2013

Just to note...

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I brought my pie into work today. It lasted all of two hours and everyone said they loved it.

*...FF victory fanfare!*

April 20th, 2013

When ambition, self-sabotage, and failure collide... well, I can still bake a pie.

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Yesterday I went out and bought a fruit I've never tried before, so I can bake a pie I'm not sure I'll love, just for the challenge factor.

I'm starting to realize that I really enjoy baking and cooking. It's creative, and I get food at the end! What's not to like? But I think the best thing about it is that I have no real ambition related to my cooking. I feel like everything else I don't horribly suck at, I want to monetize. I want to sell my writing. I used to want to do art for a living, and when it looked like I couldn't my art lobe shut down. Even my jewelry and crochet habits go up on Etsy more often than not (although the only things that sell are STILL the materia necklaces, lol). But I'm not going to be opening a restaurant or a bakery. I don't want to be a chef. I just want to make what I like and eat it.

It's... actually really liberating.

I'm making this, by the way.

January 23rd, 2013

Guys. YOU GUYS. *waves madly*

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THE BAN ON WOMEN IN COMBAT ROLES HAS BEEN LIFTED. Oh my gods and goddesses I can't even say how huge this is. (And no, the irony of me saying this when I myself would sooner fling myself into a vat of addled mantis shrimp than join the military is not lost on me. I'm happy for my far-more-badass sisters, okay?)

We won a boss fight on the quest for gender equality, y'all. ^_^

January 21st, 2013

Family stuff.

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I'm slowly beginning to realize that I don't - quite - trust my mother anymore.

Non-abusive but unhappy and uncomfortable issues behind the cut. )
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