A Safe Space for Moogles

I'm a week from turning 25, and I still feel like I have no control over my own life. Case in point: despite my misgivings I'm getting down the names of some colleges to apply to. I'm absolutely dreading going back to school,* but I just don't have any other options.

*little black raincloud over mooglehead*

I was actually researching degrees in game art, because as long as I have to go back, I might as well go for something really cool, right? :D ...Apparently that was a bad idea. Dear readers, my search took me into the dark and slimy underbelly of the American educational system, where degree factories tart themselves up with glittery programs and beckon the unwary into dark alleys. I'm not sure I still have my wallet.

True to form, it took me most of the afternoon and well into evening before I thought to look up some actual job openings in the field. Turns out nobody in the gaming industry's actually looking for someone with a 'game design' degree. Art, yes, animation, yes, architecture even. But a holder of a game design degree from Art Institutes may as well tattoo 'sucker' on her forehead.

...Yes, I'm aware of the irony, considering where I got my associate's. Don't think I'm not kicking myself over that.



*Except in the case of the school in England, but that's my 'infinitesimal chance' school - I'd have to sell a kidney to pay for it.

Why is it that I feel so irritated whenever Kaplan (the company that owns the college I graduated from) Career Services calls me going 'Hay, got a real job yet? :D?'

( Grrrrrrrr. )

I wonder if I'd still be getting this crap if I'd actually graduated from UMBC. -_-

You know you're in trouble when you apply to an employment agency and they respond with a questionnaire that you're pretty sure was an LJ meme last week. >_>

Speaking of memes, these Five Questions are from stopthatgirl7.

( And around we go... )

You know the drill. If you want five questions, comment and I'll give you five questions. For I am a benevolent moogle.

( Dream: Trouble, powers and a pretty skirt. )

Also! Don't get excited, but: I overheard the admin ladies complaining about our website guy not doing any work, and I offered my services. Admin Lady 1 told me she'd talk to the doctors about it. So, we'll see if anything comes of this.

So there was a job fair in Crystal City today. (No, not that Crystal City.)

( All was not sunshine and roses. )

*whimpers pathetically and flops in friendslist's lap* Someone write something for me? Cheer a moogle up? *saaaad eyes*

*....crawls off to doctor blisters*

So I went to another volunteer site (idealist.org, for the curious and/or desperate), and emailed a few places and - holy shit! - somebody emailed me back!

Granted, it was to ask me for samples which makes me think that this lady hadn't even read my email or resume, because I have links to my Coroflot portfolio in both places, but still! Somebody's actually acknowledging my existence! This has never happened before! I'm all a-twitter. *swoons on couch*

...in other news, this site is made of win.

Okay, look - nobody's gonna hire me. Every time I open a newspaper it's 'global recession' this and 'hiring freeze' that. Having a degree is no guarantee anymore, and I was always at a disadvantage in that department. Hell, experience isn't even that much of a guarantee, and I sure as hell don't have that (though I might if it wasn't for fscking Kramer's little bitchfit - thanks a lot, you tosser). If I keep trying to get into the corporate design world, I'm just banging my head against a wall.

My only other choices are give up and get another part-time gig somewhere - which is only a temporary fix anyway - or go into business for myself. Draw something, write something, and try to sell it. And the thing is? That's what I want to do anyway, but as it is right now I don't know if anything I produce is going to be anywhere near good enough. I feel like I need to level-grind some more. But it's either jump into the boss battle ten levels below where I should be, or go stark raving mad. Which, uh, it's getting close to "too late to stop that train now".

I don't have any clue where to start. I keep going in circles like this - gods all, no freaking wonder I can't get any sleep.

I got my first Lecture at work today. What happened was, when you work on Sundays, you just do your thing and get out, rather than staying 'til noon-thirty like most days. I had thought Saturdays were like that too, so I had left before ten-thirty. And, uh, yeah. I got Called To The Office for that one. *facepalm* It's fine, I'm not really upset, just a little chagrined. And really, considering I've been fired for less, I have no room to complain. ;P

So my job is going well enough, all things considered. I even made friends with a cat who only last week wanted to kill me. (There's still that surly Himalayan who hates me, but as he hates everybody I don't take it personally.) I'm just... restless, I suppose. And a little disappointed. I have to admit I thought that all my problems would be over once I graduated, but... it's been over four months now, my student loans are coming due and I haven't even gotten a callback for a job in my field. I've been throwing my resume at every company I could find since I moved here, and not one of them has even given me a second glance. I went ten thousand dollars in debt to get my associate's, and here I am shoveling poo for nine bucks an hour. I'd be better off right now if I'd just stayed a college dropout.

...okay, I really thought typing this out would make me feel better. *groans and headdesks* Right. Shake it off, moogle. You've got Power Rangers mpreg to write.

Put deepbluesquee on the Greyhound this morning; received a call at around 8-ish saying she'd arrived at the airport in New York just fine. If she does not arrive in Cambridge in one piece, it is officially not my fault anymore. I miss her already.

...not entirely for her parent-deflecting properties. Yes, Mom, I know I'm not allowed to sleep until noon and avoid looking for a job* anymore. Just because I don't quite live up to your standards doesn't mean I don't know them, even after a brief hiatus for much-needed Hugs. I swear to whatever's-out-there if I get one more Motherly Lecture I will scream.

*Which is a whole 'nother barrel of angst, of course. Lately I've been going around in circles of "I don't even want to work in the corporate sector, I want to work on my own projects, but I can't break into the highly competitive world of Best Job Ever yet, so I need a job and will build up my portfolio and/or write on the side, but I just know I'll wind up with a stressful job that will leave me so burned out I can't even look at my own projects anymore, and I will fade to obscurity with my creativity unfulfilled! Woe!" ...Which is a load of shit, because I can't even go to bed without having drawn or written or crocheted, but my brain does not always have a ticket for the Logic Train. ...Of course, none of this may even be an issue, because so far all I've gotten is calls from the Career Services lady going "My records show you are Still Unemployed! I am Concerned! :O" (omgstfu, lady, I highly doubt you're getting a commission) and somebody from AT&T offering me a job as phone monkey, and I would truly rather fling myself in front of a train. Lol misanthrope.

Speaking of creative, I've started on my areyougame and kinkfest prompts. Snarky Tifa is snarky.

Om nom nom, apple with caramel sauce.

So, I got a response back on one of the companies I threw my resume at. It's a branding company - coming up with logos and such. Which, y'know, not my favorite thing, but I'm good at it. The catch (there's always a catch) is that they basically gave me a homework assignment to do. Which I don't know how to interpret - on the one hand, they're interested enough to say "hay, show me what you can do"; on the other, I've never had to do homework for a job before. XD

The other thing is, it's in New York City. So I hope I'd be getting a decent paycheck considering how horrifically expensive it is to live there.

Still - this is a positive thing! At least I know I'm not just shouting into the abyss.

Why am I burning braincells looking for work in the corporate sector when what I really want is to write and draw my own stories?

...monies, that's why. *groans and stuffs face in pillow and throws minor tantrum*

...um, yeah. So, we've got Internets. ^_^ We actually got them yesterday, but I was too busy playing catch-up to post. *flails* You people talk too much! And keep doing... stuff! While you know I'm not hooked up!

It's very inconvenient. *disapproving kupo*

ANYWAY. The name of the town is Herndon, and it's right by Dulles Airport, about half an hour from D.C. assuming optimal driving conditions. Therefore it's kind of an expensive place to live, but it's not as white-bread as it first appears: there's quite a few immigrant groups that hang out here. Vietnamese, Japanese, Mediterranean, and Afghan, from what I've seen. (I had Afghan food for the first time today. OMG that bread and that white herb-y sauce. So good.) Also, there's enough of a Hispanic presence that it would behoove me to brush up on my Spanish, seeing as how I haven't used it since high school.

It's a nice place, but... well, I'm ready to start lobbing my resume at anything that moves, to be honest. Right now I'm attempting to set up an online portfolio. It would probably be smartest of me to just buy a domain and upload the portfolio I've already set up, but currently I'm playing around with Carbonmade since it has multimedia capabilities. ...On the other hand, if I could find a portfolio community site, that would be even better.

We get our stuff tomorrow. Lots of exhausting labor in my future, which is why I'm doing this stuff now. x_x

....So, what porn have I missed? :D

EDIT: I can has portfolio! It's not perfect, but it can handle Flash, so I'm pleased.