A Safe Space for Moogles

Snuggle me, I'm adorable!

raisedbymoogles

For truth, justice, and things that go Boom.

November 20th, 2011

This is my theme song these days.

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Speeding Cars - Imogen Heap

July 28th, 2009

And they wonder why I spend all my time in the basement.

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Having another one of those 'feeling like a waste of carbon' nights. No trigger, just. Old friend self-loathing, come for a visit. You know it's time to up your meds when the only reason you can think of for continuing to exist is so you don't stick your parents with your student loans.

I spent a good portion of my afternoon shift drawing Hot Rod with tentacles. No, I don't know why. I'll post it tomorrow assuming my scanner decides to work. You're welcome.

Screw you, real life. I have fandom.

July 1st, 2009

Why do I do this to myself, part I don't even know.

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I just watched three hours of Ghost Hunters. As some of you may know already, I am profoundly afraid of ghosts, bumps in the night, and my own shadow, so watching three hours of Ghost Hunters? Not a smart choice. I'm currently sitting in the basement with all the lights on, and listening to Lewis Black. (Everyone knows Lewis Black makes the malevolent spirits go away.)

...Oddly, I had a ghost dream the other night that didn't scare me at all. It probably helped that I was an apprentice Ghostbuster so I could, y'know, do something about the unquiet dead.

Also, I told my boss to go ahead and consider me for full-time, after much deliberation (read: "freaking out.") I know y'all were happy for me over this, and I'm grateful, but... yeah, I'm not, really. I know all the reasons why I should be, but reality doesn't seem to penetrate my Issues real well. I just brought myself to say yes because I knew that living with my parents another year would make me even less happy.

Or maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and feel perfectly fine about the whole thing. I don't know. That's the exciting, thrill-a-minute ride that is my unbalanced brain chemistry. :D

May 31st, 2009

Call it my Abject Dumbass Tax.

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So it cost me a hundred and fifty dollars to go to the fair today.

Actually, it cost me a hundred and fifty dollars to go home afterwards, when I came back to the parking lot and found that my car had been towed. Turns out it was a pay lot and I had not paid. (The sign, when The Guy pointed it out to me, was in plain sight. I am a dumbass.) So I had to call my dad to come and drive me to the impound lot (and finding the place was a Joy and Wonder in and of itself, let me tell you. Almost more wonderful than the Impatience and Contempt Rays that my dad is so good at putting out).

I'm really still sulking about the whole thing. But the fair was nice, as small-town fairs go. There were Booths, there was Unhealthy Food, there were Rides (which I didn't go on. It didn't seem as fun without someone with me). I bought a little air plant, because it was pretty and seemed low-maintenance enough that even I could keep it alive. It needs a little pot or dish to live in, and a name.

Re: the song in my music slot - I've looked up the real lyrics, but I keep hearing them sing 'this is so exhausting, this is so exhausting.' Which is oddly easy to picture, a bunch of people in a ritual frenzy-dance all singing about how exhausted they are.

February 9th, 2009

Thank-you drabbles.

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Thanks for cheering me up, everyone. I'm sorry I worried you. I'm not going anywhere, I promise - if nothing else, it'd be rude to saddle my parents with my student loans. ;P Anyway, I'm okay now. Mostly. More or less. ...look, I wrote ficlets, I can't be that far gone.

Also, there's a fluffy puppy at work. It's hard to be sad with a puppy.


***********************

In which Kairi and Optimus Primal are Cute. )



In which Leonardo and Cloud stretch the limits of phallic metaphor. )

February 2nd, 2009

"So, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?" "The same thing we do every night, Uterus..."

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I'm starting to think my mood is connected to my monthlies. I've been down since last week, and my euphemism just started today. I wonder if there's a birth control pill designed to address that. ...I wonder if any birth control pills don't play well with my happy drugs. o_O

Either way, I know that I should probably get back to seeing a therapist. It's just that, I don't want to start developing a relationship with a shrink only to have to find another one if/when I move. It's almost easier to wait until after my living conditions change. ...Of course, I applied the same logic to making friends in elementary school, and I wound up with social anxiety. I can't win. -_-

Mom made little rice balls for her second-grade class for Chinese New Year (a week late, but whatevs) and now I find myself searching desperately for onigiri recipes. One of Mom's friends in Japan showed us how to make onigiri filling with pork and ginger and bean paste, and it was soooo good but I can't remember the specifics anymore and I can't find a recipe online (and I can't find bean paste, either). Lots of stuff about furikake and flaked fish and pickled plums though. And one recipe with Spam, oddly enough. Apparently it's the invention of Japanese expatriates in Hawaii. Rock on with your bad selves, guys.

August 25th, 2008

Excuse me, God? This brain you gave me is defective.

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I now know why I can't stand reality TV. Not because of some enlightened sense of taste and desire for quality entertainment, as I thought - but because there's always a winner and a loser, and I always identify with the loser.

Why am I crying over a failure on Project Runway? Don't I have enough of my own?

EDIT: I feel better now. Strawberries and whipped cream fixes a lot of things.

August 20th, 2008

*pokes irritatedly at the job market*

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Why am I burning braincells looking for work in the corporate sector when what I really want is to write and draw my own stories?

...monies, that's why. *groans and stuffs face in pillow and throws minor tantrum*

March 3rd, 2008

Good day sunshine...

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Oh my god you guys, the sun came out today for the first time in twenty years. I even drove home from school with my window down, it felt amazing. I feel like I just got fresh batteries. ^______^

I may have a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder after all, if a few hours of sunlight and non-freezing weather can make me feel like this. Maybe I should reconsider moving to Florida or California.

Of course, tomorrow we're supposed to get a metric buttload each of snow and rain. Oh, Ohio.

January 30th, 2008

In which Moogle wins a minor victory over her Issues.

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Features delusions of MPD, paganesque wittering, and a bad night. )

January 26th, 2008

It's possible I've been reading too many snarky blogs lately.

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I have these sudden, overpowering urges toward sarcasm lately. Like, kinda-mean sarcasm, which is a little out of character for me. And maybe not the right place, as in a comm I'm modding and don't want to scare people away from. (Though I still don't think it's the right place for such broad fic reqs - dude, if all you want is one character? It's called The Internet.) I think my inner supervillain is restless. I can't wait for my volunteering to start up in earnest, I really need to do something.

It's not exactly limited to the Internet, but I've gotten way too used to the blogging culture - I keep wanting to carry around a Post-It pad and use it to respond to some of the stupider bumper stickers I see in parking lots.

And so, a quizthing. For no reason. )
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