A Safe Space for Moogles

*twirls sword over head and poses victoriously* I finished my room today! :DDDD

...of course, there are still boxes of Stuff that have to go into storage for now kind of hanging out in my room, but my toys are all displayed and my bookshelf is all neat and pretty and awesome. Happy and accomplished moogle! ^_^

I also tried to get a new drivers' license today, but, uh, I couldn't prove I live here. XD That's what happens when you're a dependent. The only mail I get is my game magazine and a metric buttload of credit card offers (note to all banks everywhere: DO NOT WANT). And apparently those don't count as proof. So I'm going to get a change-of-address form at the post office tomorrow, so yes. *nods*

Still sleeping in the basement, though. We finally gave up on the Great Bedbug War and left my mattress behind, and Mom says that they're going to wait to get me a new one 'til Labor Day. I don't mind, really, the couch is plenty comfy, but the problem is there's no windows down there, so no matter how late I sleep I still feel like I'm waking up at 5 AM 'cause it's still dark. *nyeh*

Boxes. Boxes boxes boxes. @_____@ We're up to our ears in them over here, omg. We worked all afternoon and we've almost got the kitchen done. I have a feeling I'll be scarce during the day - we've got a lot of work to do.

Halp, I'm drowning in cardboard. *waves little flag*

(Also, Dana Torres is my hero. That is all.)

...um, yeah. So, we've got Internets. ^_^ We actually got them yesterday, but I was too busy playing catch-up to post. *flails* You people talk too much! And keep doing... stuff! While you know I'm not hooked up!

It's very inconvenient. *disapproving kupo*

ANYWAY. The name of the town is Herndon, and it's right by Dulles Airport, about half an hour from D.C. assuming optimal driving conditions. Therefore it's kind of an expensive place to live, but it's not as white-bread as it first appears: there's quite a few immigrant groups that hang out here. Vietnamese, Japanese, Mediterranean, and Afghan, from what I've seen. (I had Afghan food for the first time today. OMG that bread and that white herb-y sauce. So good.) Also, there's enough of a Hispanic presence that it would behoove me to brush up on my Spanish, seeing as how I haven't used it since high school.

It's a nice place, but... well, I'm ready to start lobbing my resume at anything that moves, to be honest. Right now I'm attempting to set up an online portfolio. It would probably be smartest of me to just buy a domain and upload the portfolio I've already set up, but currently I'm playing around with Carbonmade since it has multimedia capabilities. ...On the other hand, if I could find a portfolio community site, that would be even better.

We get our stuff tomorrow. Lots of exhausting labor in my future, which is why I'm doing this stuff now. x_x

....So, what porn have I missed? :D

EDIT: I can has portfolio! It's not perfect, but it can handle Flash, so I'm pleased.

Huzzah for Dad's laptop and hotel wireless! This may be the last time I can get on the Innernets until, oh, Thursday at the latest, so this is me making the most of it. (It seems to be a bit unreliable though. I'm on Meebo but it keeps fillipping on me.)

Saturday was pretty uneventful (except for the whole thing with Prime, Motormaster, and flowers, of course) until around nine-thirtyish when we decided to finally stop for the night. It's dark, we're tired, we're in the mountains near West Virginia somewhere so we're pretty much in the middle of nowhere (but at least it's a prettier nowhere than Illinois), and wouldn't you know it, the Hyatt's full. As a matter of fact, every hotel in the area's full. And so is every hotel at the next exit up for that matter. We know this because Dad called every single one of those suckers. We were just resigning ourself to the idea of having to drive two more hours just to find a place to sleep when the girl at the desk said, "The EconoLodge up the road has a couple rooms left."

"Scamperfoom," says we.

We managed to get there in time to get one of their last rooms: a Jacuzzi room, which sounds great until you realize that there was only one bed for the three of us. I was ready to sleep in the Jacuzzi until Dad remembered that there was an aero-bed in the van. Huzzah! :D

So that was yesterday. Today I learned that a) while Dad drives quite fast, Mom, er, does not; b) no matter how much you like to drive, seven hours of it is gr-u-e-ling, and c) West Virginia is really, really pretty. Not close enough to the ocean for my taste, but pretty. Of course, all that green started getting a little blurry about hour four. x_x It was all I could do to keep both Mom and Dad in sight, especially when traffic got busy. But anyway, we're in Virginia now. I haven't seen the house yet (the final ceremonial sacrifice of a chicken is tomorrow), so we're staying in a hotel suite in which (this is important) I get my own room. Yaaaaaay!

Also, TF07 was on TV tonight, so now my mind is filled with shiny robots. ^_____^ *skibble sketch drabble plaaaaaay* *.....flop* homigod so tired.

But! Tomorrow I get to see our new house! And meet the fishes! And pick my room! There's a blue one and a yellow one, and whichever one I don't sleep in will be my playroom, Mom says. That's not even counting the basement with the big projector screen. ^_^ I'll probably set up my PS2 down there. Mmm, FF12 on that huge screen, prettypretty... *_*

EDIT: Somebody remind me later when I get Interwebs at home that I have a major edit to make on my Fluffirothfic. I got hit in the face with a mental image earlier but it doesn't work if he still has Mako eyes.

The good news is, ravynfyre and I had an awesome time yesterday, and I am now fifty bucks poorer but seven toys, a pile of comics and a lot of hugs richer. ^_____^ Ravyn is awesome. *squeebounce*

The bad news is, I have to babysit my ten-year-old cousin tomorrow. She's, shall we say, a talker. Not a bad kid and of course I love her to pieces, but I've never had to spend long hours in enclosed spaces with her before. My feelings may change. -_-

(Mom says she will owe me a present. I am disinclined to argue.)

The best news is, day after tomorrow we leave for Virginia! Yaaaaaaaaay! :DDDD My life is finally starting...

Her name is Irene, and she lives in the group home with my grandma. She's sarcastic, bitchy, loves cake and has a closet full of shoes. She and Grandma and Mom and I sat and talked in her apartment for a while, and she welcomed me, teased at me and gave me a hug when we had to leave.

Irene also has cancer. It will kill her in about a year.

Grandma told us that when Irene was diagnosed, she had a choice: she could have foregone treatment and let herself die within a couple of months. She's holding on for the sake of her family and the people who love her, even though she suffers for it. And she may be one of the kindest and sharpest and funniest people I've ever met.

I can only hope to be that badass when I grow up.

(In other news, still not dead. Am crocheting and playing Phoenix Wright. Also, I love my grampy dearly, but if I have to sit and watch another Old Movie I am afraid I will scream.)

Shockingly enough, after spending eight solid hours at Kings' Island theme park I am not sunburned at all. Considering my skin is so pale I could be perfectly camouflaged in a bowl of vanilla ice cream, this is quite a feat. It probably helped that my dear friend (lj)poptartodoom globbed sunscreen on my head. My hair is disgusting but at least I won't be in pain when I try to brush it tomorrow. ^_^

My feet are killing me, though. x_x Even with sunscreen, eight hours in a crowded theme park is still eight hours in a crowded theme park. Still, Poptart is pretty entertaining when you're waiting in line with her and the rides were worth the pain. Of course, our Beast Warsians had to tag along too, which made things even more fun. We'd decided that Rattrap and Dinobot were trying to one-up each other on the roller coasters all day (culminating with a session of synchronized barfing of oil), Cheetor would be enthusiastically dragging everyone on all the biggest rides, Silverbolt would be petrified of said rides and escape to spend the rest of the day winning plushies at the carnival games to give to Blackarachnia, Waspinator would be a hoopy frood and know where everyone's towel was (because he stole them all), Scorponok would try to take apart the rides to see how they worked, Rhinox and Optimus would chase each other on the bumper cars, and Megatron would just hang out in the Lazy River all day.

...We're weird. Further proof: we kitbashed Polly Pockets as us. Yes, really.

So, Dad's retirement ceremony is coming up, which yours truly will be obliged to attend. Of course I don't mind showing my support and all, but the spotlight on Dad will naturally extend to his family by extension. Which means near-perfect strangers will find it necessary to accost me with... The Questions.

They're all the same, too. In high school it was "What college are you going to?" In college: "What major are you in? Oh, history? Are you going to be a teacher?" And later: "Oh, graphic design? Is that one of those new-fangled Internets majors?" And I can predict what The Question will be this time, too. "Oh, you've graduated! What are you going to do now?"

Impress us, o moogle, tell us you are worthy to carry the blood of our honored clan.

I'm sure "I just graduated from OIP&T, I don't have a job lined up yet" will satisfy the minimum requirements for most people, but frankly I get tired of saying the same thing ten times to ten different well-meaning strangers. So I've been coming up with lines to deflect said line of interrogation that will hopefully not get me dismissed as a surly teenager. Here's what I've come up with so far:

"I'm going to be a unicorn."
"I thought I'd take a year off and go to Mars. I hear they need women."
"I'm going to be a bitter, disgruntled Wal-mart employee."
"I'm going to go crab fishing on the Bering Sea."
"I've gotten an offer as a superhero's wisecracking sidekick."
"I've been training for the Olympics. Cheesecake-eating event, here I come!"
"I'm crocheting an Optimus Prime. To scale."
"I'm going to be a ninja."
"I think I'd like to be an alpaca rancher."
"I'm going to visit my long-lost twin brother, get into a car accident, get amnesia, and wind up having the King of Spain's love child."
"I'm moving to Narnia."

Obviously this kind of goes against the whole improv thing, but I find a safety net helps me feel more confident and secure about opening my mouth and saying something silly.

So. Any more suggestions, loves? :D

Well, my graduation ceremony went off without a hitch on Friday - well, as non-hitchy as could be expected. It ran a bit long, and the guest speaker they had was some former coach from not-even-our-school-for-heaven's-sake, and he seemed to have forgotten that we were not a) his grandkids or b) football players. It was either screaming in our faces or "When I was your age blah blah poverty blah blah mastodon for breakfast." Oh, and he did a magic trick with a newspaper. I passed the time by contemplating Rodimus/Starscream ghost porn.

But in the end, it was worth it to walk across the stage. And dance off it. (I told you I would.) And toss my hat up in the air. ^_______^

And now? Now, ladies and gentlemechs, I am taking a nice long well-earned rest. My therapist told me today that I look much more relaxed, and yes, lifting that weight from one's shoulders will do that to a person. I spent a little of my graduation money today, and squeed over presents, and now there's just an Extended Family visit to get through before we officially move. Once I'm settled there I'll start looking for Jobs.

Speaking of Family, the day after I graduated, my grandmother (the one in Poor Health) fell and broke her ankle. Like, through-the-skin break. She was going to come down for Dad's retirement ceremony, but now it's a toss-up whether she'll be out of the hospital by the time we come up to see her in a couple of weeks. So, there's that going on.

Also, I just beat Magical Starsign, which is really good for me considering I only bought it a couple months ago. I would recommend it to anyone who's a fan of quirky RPGs. *checks off list* One down, seven million and three to go.

For those who've missed it so far, (lj)childofatlantis and I are doing an impromptu round robin. The Life and Times of Ghost!Starscream on Autobot-Controlled Cybertron: Full of co-existing pet ships, angst, tantrums and lulz. ^_^

In other news, Mom and I went shopping today. Mom spoiled me shamelessly due to Impending Graduatedness, but she's not going to let me have the books I picked out 'til after the ceremony. I'll pretend to be surprised. ;)

*sighs contentedly* Life, she doesn't suck.

So, room-cleaning with Mom was more painless than I'd dared to hope. She gave me some guidance and let me go, and we got a lot of work done while watching an all-day Deadliest Catch marathon. My bookshelf hasn't looked so organized literally since we moved in. :O (And it took her all of half an hour too, which is amazing considering the state it was in before. I swear that woman is a machine.) And she stayed out of my drawers, so the fact that I have a sexuality remains mercifully un-remarked-upon. ;) Anyway, I've pulled out most of the stuff I want to keep with me when we car-trip to Illinois and then head out to Virginia. There's not all that much - between books, my DS and my yarn what else do I need? ;) I also may go ahead and get a paid account on LJ sometime before we get on the road. My Internet access will be sporadic for a couple of weeks and I would hate to deprive you all of my brilliant musings for that long. ;)

Also, another character has set up shop in my head: a wolf who, due to the magic equivalent of heavy pollution, sometimes can be shaped like a human. I think this'll be my next story after The Rose Bearer is done. *sighs* I'm never going to get out all the stories in my head before I die at this rate. Currently I'm making a pouch for my tarot cards to replace the one it came with (fell apart quite spectacularly). When I'm done (and get new batteries for my camera) I'll post pictures, as well as the pouch I did for my DS. (It's felted and I'm very proud of it. ^_^)

In the meantime: this travesty is all lookingforsigns's and (lj)vani_nessa's fault.

Today in therapy my psychologist took me through some simple meditation.

I'd done stuff like it before, during Renfest rehearsals specifically, but it was mostly visualization techniques and anyway that's a place I don't want to go back to right now. This was very basic: focusing on the breath. It's... surprisingly difficult. It doesn't feel natural to me to focus on how I'm breathing, because I keep wanting to try to breathe deeper, slower, more in the belly, and trying to force your breath to do that kind of hurts after a while. My psychologist said that's normal, and that I'd get better with practice, which was encouraging.

While doing this, I also started noticing how tense my body was in places. My legs, then my arms where I had my elbows on the armrests - like I was straining to hold myself up even though the chair had a back. I managed to relax them with some effort - not, I admit, the point of the exercise, but it felt like the thing to do - and toward the end of the meditation, I actually felt something. Like om. That's the best I can explain it. I know it sounds weird, but I wasn't even looking for it, it just came to me.

...This is going to be an interesting journey.

In other news, my parents have officially bought a house. It's in northern Virginia, I don't remember exactly where, but it's close enough to Washington to make little difference. (I would've preferred Maryland, given my druthers, but it's their house.) I've seen pictures of it. It's very nice, quite huge (vacuuming is going to be a pain in the butt), and the backyard has an honest-to-goodness koi pond. With actual koi in it. :O

There's also two guests rooms which Mom is making noises about putting me in, and a finished basement with a projector screen. It all sounds lovely, but... I dunno how much I'm going to enjoy it. I'll be too focused on finally moving out of my parents.

Lastly, a memething from (lj)lighttomoyo:

( I'm afraid of 19 out of 72 common fears. )

Gratuitous mood post.

Dear Universe,

*deep breath*

TO WHOM MUST I SACRIFICE A SMALL CHILD TO GET RID OF THESE CRUDDY LITTLE SLIMEMONGERING RAT BASTARD SPAWN OF SATAN'S CROTCH LICE OTHERWISE KNOWN AS BEDBUGS?

Since, y'know, three bug bombings doesn't seem to have been enough. Didn't even make the little bastards sneeze, judging by the sheer numbers I faced when I stripped my bed. Am I living on top of a Hellmouth?

Scrubbing my skin raw, thank you very much,
Moogle Girl

***

Dear Local Newspaper,

The time to print a cautionary article about how for-profit colleges (like the one I'm going to) are all Evil and Un-Academic and no reputable academic institution will accept their credits and many respectable employers won't hire people from them? Was about two years ago, before I devoted two years and all my hopes for not dying destitute in a ditch somewhere on OIP&T.

Resigning myself to being one of those useless, pathetic people who never move out of their parents' basement,
Moogle Girl

You guys, there's a guy with his legs amputated below the knee trying out for the Olympics.

The world is just awesome.

"Shawn," I called plaintively, "help?"

My favorite professor came running to my aid - and winced when she saw the state of my monitor. "Ooh," she said, "that's not good. That's a kernel panic."

That wasn't reassuring at all, but even as I resorted to a hard reboot, my Zen reaches into its memory and pulls out Eric Idle. "Always look on the bright side of life..."

So I went and got some animal crackers. Nom nom nom.

(I didn't lose any data, so don't panic.)

So, um, Saturday didn't quite go as planned. I was going to do that charity walk with Poptart, but check-in was at eight and we slept 'til almost, um, ten... ^_^;;; This is why I don't like asking people for monies. But Poptart said she'd send the charity peoples a check so all you kind people's donations don't just go into her toy fund. *...ducks!* You know I love you, Poptart. ;)

Anyway, it was a beautiful day and it would've been a waste to spend it inside, so we went to a local putt-putt place. ^_^ We both suck pretty hard at putt-putt, but we had a lot of fun, and, y'know, fresh air and exercise and all that. I got a bit of a sunburn 'cause I was wearing a sleeveless top, but not too bad considering all the sunburns I've gotten. *is paaaaale* And we also spent a little time at the arcade (skeeball ftw) and went around the track in go-karts. ^_^ *has Autobots clamoring for attention now* So, all in all a good day.

Also, I'm now caught up on TF:Ani. Bring on the smut!

EDIT: Why in the world wasn't this available before Botcon? A wrench I can throw at people and not give them a concussion! It would've been perfect! *flails!*

Speaking of Botcon, here's pics of me and Poptart fooling around taken by mommimus_prime.

Which level of hell am I going to if I think Evil!Tommy is much, much sexier than Good!Tommy?*

...In the first season, anyway. He really does get hotter with time. (DinoThunder!Tommy, rowr. I would hit that with the fist of an angry Megazord.)

Besides perving on people in spandex, today I: completed my fourth dinosaur and paid off the majority of my mortgage in Animal Crossing, designed a logo and got concrit on a booklet, cooked dinner (noodles and spices out of a box, okay, but I added the chicken and veggies, darnit!), got to level 52 on FreeTetris.org (I really don't know why I play this. You never win, you just stave off the inevitable losing.) and wrote three drabbles. And sprawled out in the cool grass, said hi to some flowers, and did Stuff around the house that made me feel like a Big Girl. ^_^

*Although the Woobie Moment he shares with Jason right after the spell is broken is the woobiest of all Woobie Moments. /slash goggles

Something that came out of me in therapy the other day: "My biggest fear is the cubicle."

Ever since I was little, I've known I wasn't meant to live an ordinary life. My first dreams never included a husband, kids, a white picket fence and all that. My Barbies, regardless of how they were dressed when they came out of the box, were all explorers and independent women and regularly kicked Ken's ass. I read fantasy and science fiction and imagined myself in those worlds. My heroes were female astronauts and the Yellow Ranger.

None of that has really changed, of course, but it's hard to keep sight of my fire when school's trying to groom me into another ad monkey. Nowadays when I worry, it's "What if I don't get a good job right out of college? What if I'm not a Productive Member of Society?" And I forget that that's not really what I want.

I want to travel. I want to create things that make people's eye's shine or their hearts beat faster. I want to tell stories. I want to sit atop a bluff and snark with Coyote. I want to steal fire from the gods and give it to everyone I can before they catch me. I want to sit in a coffee shop somewhere where I don't speak the language and find a way to make everyone laugh. I want to break barriers. I want to run as fast as I can. I want to be free.

It's okay if I don't quite match up to the expectations of some ad executive in Philadelphia. My world is so much bigger than that.

As usual, xkcd kinda sums it up.

It's the first of May (and we all know what that means). It's beautiful outside, mid-70s, sunny, breezy. I'm trucking along on my schoolwork, no worries there. Aretha Franklin is wailing over my earphones. And I just took about three dozen pictures of omg fluffy baby goslings and didn't even get pecked for my trouble.

It's a good day. The only thing that would make it better would be if my uterus would quit with the Primusslagging cramps. -_-

In other news, a couple more things that get my fire going:

A rant on feminism by Tamora Pierce, one of the authors I grew up with. Is it any wonder I adore this woman? She informed a lot of my own beliefs, growing up. *hearts for eyes, shameless fangirling*

John Stewart's take on abstinence-only sex ed. YOU JUST UN-BLEW MY MIND.